ASK CORK: Trump-Praagh to marry?

ASK CORK 

"We Scour the 'net so you can sleep in, you lazy bastard"

QUESTION: I keep hearing a shocking rumor that professional celebrity Donald Trump and psychic James van Praagh are getting married now that gay marriage is legal in New York.--N. Finke

ASK CORK ANSWERS:  While today is April Fool's Day, this rumor has been circulating for some time now. After a thorough investigation by my crack-fueled staff, I can report it is absolutely false. And, as a bonus, I will tell you how the rumor started. 

Van Praagh is a well known psychic whose most recent prediction--that 2013 would end on December 31--proved right on the money. Trump, despite his reputation as a blowhard, is as straight as the nose in your eye. 

The rumor started last month when Praagh's clip-on mustache and that living toupee epoxied to The Donald's dome briefly dated. They went out a few times but realized romance was not in the future. According to the publicist for Trump's hair, they remain "good friends" but want to focus on their careers for the time being.